Shyness can be frustrating or downright debilitating. You may have missed out on a better job, passed up potential dates with people you found attractive, or haven’t defended yourself when conflict arose. Shyness can also lead to low self-esteem, and an endless cycle of "woulda," "coulda," "shoulda." Here are some excellent ways to overcome shyness and become more confident.
Make Eye Contact and Smile
When you’re out in public, look directly into the eyes of strangers, smile, and say "Hi."
Although this may sound like an easy task for many people, for those shy souls it can range from slightly uncomfortable to downright terrifying. Make it a habit to say hello to at least three people each and every day. It does get easier!
Change Your Body Language
Most shy people tend to look down at the ground, slump their shoulders, and put their hands in their pockets.
Practice confident body language by making eye contact, look up when walking, speaking clearly, using your hands while you talk, nodding when the other person is talking, and standing tall with your shoulders back. This may take some practice, so try this out with people you know and feel comfortable with at first.
Act Like You Aren’t Shy
The old saying, "Fake it until you make it" is very true here. Sometimes you simply have to act like you aren’t shy until you can slowly but surely gain the confidence you’re looking for. How to do this? The best way is going to a restaurant or store you’ve never been to before. The people here don’t know you, so you can act any way you’d like.
Before you go out, practice in your mind how the new and confident you would act, walk and talk. The easiest way to do it? When you’re paying for groceries at the store. You only have to interact with the cashier for a moment or two and can strike up a brief conversation, joke or even playfully flirt then you’re out of there in just a moment.
Always Look Your Best
When you’re a shy person it’s easy to dress in a manner so you’ll be least noticeable. You may wear drab clothes, have your hair in your face or wear a baseball cap pulled down over your eyes, or whatever you do to hide yourself.
If you were absolutely confident, how would you dress? You may not be able to afford Armani or Chanel, but you could surely buy a few items of clothing here and there that would really boost your confidence level. Get your hair cut and styled, dye it a more daring color, buy new makeup and use it. Do whatever you can to feel good about yourself before you leave home every day.
Practice Being Optimistic
Many shy people tend to have a gloomy or negative outlook on life or certain areas of it. Perhaps you feel okay about work, but have a bad view of relationships. Maybe you tend to badmouth those who are happier or more successful than you. Whatever your pessimism, carrying around that gray cloud of negativity really hurts your self-esteem. Learn to let all of that go and be more optimistic. You’ll soon find that when you view others and the world in a more positive light, your self-esteem will begin to rise.
Learn From Watching Others
When you’re out and see someone who appears very confident and outgoing, take mental note of how they act, talk, and move their body. What facial expressions do they use? How are they conveying their thoughts and opinions? Try incorporating some of these into your own life. You don’t want to act like another person, but this will help you to find your own unique confidence style.
These are some of the best tips in overcoming shyness and being more confident. Things may not change over night, but by being determined and moving forward each day with this list of confidence boosters, you’ll soon find that your shyness has completely disappeared.
Kelly Wallace - Kelly is a seasoned freelance writer, multi-published author, radio show host, teacher, speaker and highly acclaimed intuitive ...
Join the Conversation